Under the Mountain

"Under the Mountain" is a ragged sort of indie road trip album written and recorded in basements and bedrooms. It covers a wide lyrical range with songs about love and loss, struggles with anxiety, finding your purpose in life, inherited insanity, and a rant on maker culture.

"Under the Mountain" was made in collaboration with Dan Illi, who helped out on "Prairie Fires" and was a member of my former side project "24 Hour Blues Cycle." Ryan Buzby (a former member of Adams Wilson) came in to give the drums some punch. Katie Skwirut (who can be heard on "Hard Summer" and several Blues Cycle recordings) used her haunting operatic voice to create backing vocals for many of these tracks, and even take lead on "Hawk Falls."

Recorded 2018 at home
Wallingford, Pennsylvania
Drums Recorded by: Ryan Buzby
Produced & Engineered by: Adams Eberwein

No More Feelings

Fighting with the courage
that's telling me to dance
A silent list of reasons
Damaged thoughts and feelings
Banking on a second chance

and I'm killing
all my reasons
on my own

No more feelings
wrestling with reasons
stop wondering what goes wrong
take your shot before it's gone
kill your demons

Comparison is easy
Complacence is my crutch
My chair is reassuring
My lines don't get to blurring
if you don't try too much

and I'm fearing
all these reasons
on my own

No more feelings
wrestling with reasons
stop wondering what goes wrong
just take your shot before it's gone
kill your demons
fighting like you mean it
You've only got so long
So take the shot before it's gone

who are you to
try and get ahead
like anyone owes you
anything in this world
yeah who are you
like anyone knows you

No more feelings
standing on reasons
strap in and come along
before the chance is up and gone
no more demons
standing on reasons

Need a Reason

You cut me loose
I know that much
As you slammed the door
you said don't keep in touch
So on the table I found your ring
You left me there just waiting and wondering

If you're gonna kill me
I'm gonna need a reason
I'm just funny that way

'Cus you threw me away
Like you do this every day
and I don't know what it's about
And I've got things to say
If I could get my head on straight
But I can't figure this thing out

Tell me his name
I gotta know
Tell me you hate me
So I can Let you go
Tell me all the things that I don't get
Tell me why I'm left here
wondering what happens next

If you're gonna kill me
I'm gonna need a reason
I'm just funny that way

'Cus you threw me away
Like it's any other day
and I don't know what it's about
And I've got things to say
If I could get my head on straight
But I can't figure this thing out

If you're gonna kill me
I'm gonna need a reason
If you're gonna kill me
I'm gonna need a reason

Put a hole in a wall
And broke my hand
Needed a pain that I could
Understand

Hawk Falls

We went up to hawk falls
September of 0-3
I think, I don’t know
The memory tends to flee
Like me trying to change colors
With the leaves
It’s just the vague sense
Of cold that chills your teeth

3 Falls apart
giving misery a running start

Can you say there’s nothing at all
Back at hawk Falls
Can you say there’s nothing at all
Back at hawk Falls

Now next year’s model
Is staring back at me
And I guess
I’m just supposed
To take my cue and leave
But not for nothing
I ask about 0-3
Remember when we
Went hiking up to see

Before it all fell apart
and we found out who we really are

Can you say there’s nothing at all
Back at Hawk Falls
Can you say there’s nothing at all
Back at Hawk Falls

I won't leave behind these memories
the ones you seem to have lost
when carving in a new name
colors change but it's never
been more clear to me
some things stay the same
some things you can't erase

Can you say there’s nothing at all
Back at Hawk Falls
Don't say there’s nothing at all
Back at Hawk Falls

Broken Billboard

Giant sign
Route 95
Hidden by the night
Under a broken light

You know I feel I do
As good a job as you
Of saying what I
Need to say
I'm okay
What else can I say?

Oh my words
have you lost your meaning?
Don't know what they're worth
Or what you've been hearing

Holding tight
to this lie
suicide for an open heart

I can't look at you
You could see right through
So tell me what I
Need to say
I'm okay
Just tell me what to say

Oh my words
have lost all their meaning?
Don't know what you've heard
Or how you've been feeling

If you can't read my love I...
I have nothing left to say
If you can't read my love I...
I have nothing

Oh my words
have you lost your meaning?
Don't know what you've heard
Or how you've been feeling

Oh my words
have you lost your meaning?
Don't know what you've heard
Or how you've been feeling

The Best Day

Shed your skin
For want of
A beautiful life
Turn your home to ash
For the relative warmth
of the firelight

And no regrets now
you only get one life
Just break yourself down

You have much
to learn if
You think you're all right
I have much to teach
if I finish this book
I started last night

It all makes sense now
I've finally seen the light
It all connects now

Today is gonna be the best day
Of my eternal life
I'm cashing in my karma
Frustrate my enemies with kindness
and the beauty of my light
'cus I'm savage with my karma
I'm savage with my karma

I fall to sleep
It's all I know
I fall to sleep
It's all I know

Today is gonna be the best day
Of my eternal life
I'm cashing in my karma
Frustrate my enemies with kindness
and the beauty of my light
'cus I'm savage with my karma
I'm savage with my karma
I'm cashing in my karma

When You Hit, Hit Hard

You look familiar
But you sound so strange
There's something 'bout the way you talk that
Brings me pain
Like you hurt me in another life
I hear your voice when I turn out the light
I'm going insane... insane

See I been
Dancing all around it
Just can't get the words out
I just can't handle your moves and I
Need to sit down
But you tell me I can stay for the night
And you tell me don't you dare think twice
Or you'll go insane

Oh words can't make me fall apart
And you can't break a broken heart
So don't you go easy
Don't you tease me
When you hit, hit hard

You swear you'll be honest
But your voice is strained
Is it my imagination or has everything changed?
Like it's something that you've never done
and the lies are just for the fun
and I'm insane

Words can't make me fall apart
And you can't break a broken heart
So don't you go easy
Don't you tease me
When you hit, hit hard

When you come at me come heavy
or don't you dare come at all
When you shoot at me shoot straight
I'll be ready I'll be standing tall

Like you hurt me in another life
I hear your voice when I turn out the light
I'm going insane

Words can't make me fall apart
And you can't break this broken heart
Don't you go easy on me
Don't you tease me
Leave me scarred

Heart Attack

It’s easy to become
What you believe
Watch you breaking down
Right here in front of me
it's hard for me to know what I should say
'Cus any wrong word could push you away

Get a handle on your life
Just cus you think it don't make it right

You cut out your heart
So you don’t have a heart attack
Don’t know where to start
To tell you what’s wrong with that

You feel like every word
Is a deceit
The first to walk away
Defeats the enemy
It's hard for me to know what I should choose
But I could be another thing you got to lose

You tried love but it didn’t feel right
Can’t lose if you refuse to fight

You cut out your heart
So you don’t have a heart attack
Don’t know where to start
To tell you what’s wrong with that

I'm yours to lose
so get this through your mind
you better get it right this time

You cut out your heart
So you don’t have a heart attack
I don’t know where to start
To tell you what’s wrong with that

You cut out your heart
So you don’t have a heart attack
I don’t know where to start
To tell you what’s wrong with that

I Don't Wanna Waste Your Time

I feel lost
out of line
I'm just standing here till I hear otherwise
I feel lost
out of time
Got no other play so I'm just standing by

I don't wanna waste your time
You think that you could change your mind?

I gave up
Turning in my wings
Turn into the wind and see what it brings
I gave up
I'm onto other things
Ready for the bell when it finally rings

I don't wanna waste your time
Or wait for you to change your mind

I don't wanna spoil your evening
I don't know, maybe I
Wonder where all of this is coming from
Turning over all of these feelings
Hoping you could sort them out
I don't know, maybe I
am just too much for you

Under the Mountain

I was born under the mountain
like father before me and fathers countless
Your mind goes dark in the shadows
and you pray for redemption from unseen foes and
then a stranger came and broke me up
with tales of love and light
she led me to the valley floor
I've never seen before
so bright

[Wordless chorus]

The shadow of the hillside
moves over the orchard
across my eyes and
tells me I'm not of the valley
I'm a child of the mountain
and always will be

[Wordless chorus]

Explorers at the End of the World

Can't sink if you don't swim
Does that mean you can't live
At the end of the world?

If you find you can't breathe
just take the air out of me
See the end of the world

All of the sudden now
I feel feelings now
Something more than doubt

Oh no
You can't walk away
From the end of the world
And not feel a change
Oh no
You can't look away
Because everything's changed
You can't be the same
Oh no

God these walls are too thin
between the sea and my skin
At the end of the world

Can you lie next to me
close your eyes and not see
the end of the world

All of the sudden now
I've got all this down
No one gets to make it out

I know
You can't walk away
From the end of the world
And not feel a change
Oh no
You can't look away
Just 'cus everything's changed
And not be the same
Oh no

I wanted something more than doubt

I know
You can't walk away
From the end of the world
And not feel a change
Oh no
You can't walk away
from the end of the world
'cus everything's changed
And no