Irrelevant Truth

"Irrelevant Truth" is the first album of my recorded songs that ever saw the light of day. It's a rough sketchbook that was recorded in my home office with nothing but a 2-channel mixer and a year of my time. I still love the songs from this record, and several of them have been dusted off and brought back to life on succeeding albums.

2007
Home recordings
Pilesgrove, New Jersey

Burnout Fireflies

There are people who believe that God may or may not exist, but go to church every once in a while, more as a tradition than anything else. There are others who dedicate their lives to serving God, and live in foreign lands, telling others about Him. Still others use God as an excuse and a tool to spread fear and hatred, and even take lives in His name. Yet, all of these people go by the same name - "Christian."

What if the early apostles were able to see the state of modern Christianity? What would they say? What would they do? What would I say to them...?

Hey Paul I wanted to say hello
wanted to say I don't know what I'm doing
I'm just watching tv

Hey John I wanted to say goodbye
I wanted to say you don't know what you're missing
but I wish you could see

Come out of that tree
come run around with me
It's hard to believe
My faith eyes can't see
just burning out the fireflies around here

We catch them in a jar
we tell them who we are
we watch all of their light disappear

Hey Peter I wanted to say hello
I wanted to say I know just what I'm doing
but I got somewhere to be

Hey Jesus I know I'm going real slow
but I'll get there just as soon as I can
It's hard to believe
My faith eyes can't see
just burning out the fireflies around here

Between you and me my faith ain't as strong as it seems

Just Waiting

As I wrote this song, I was struck by the fact that I had spent my entire life up to that moment demanding that God reveal His plan for my life. I wanted to know why He didn't lay out each minute detail so I could rest easy along the way. Was I missing something? I was envious of Samuel the prophet, who had a clear message, directly from God, about where he should be, and what he should do. He had purpose. He had meaning. I, however, was Just Waiting.

Last night I fell asleep
During my bedtime prayer
I prayed my soul to keep
Out of the devil's lair

In the quiet of the night
A whisper came to me
I reached out for the light
but still I could not see

And I am waiting here for you

Here I am just waiting
Send your servant anywhere
I'll go into the fading light
And I won't despair
For you have chosen me to go

I waited in the dark
For the voice that called to me
And wondered who you are
And what you want with me

For you have chosen me to go

And I never heard the words
But I felt you change my heart
And though the shadows turn
I'll trust in who you are

The Movie Song

A tale about two people who see their lives reflected in these classic films, incidentally, two of my favorites. Of course, the reflections they see are relationships drifting apart, and people going mad, until, eventually, they're not watching together anymore.

This song originally had four verses and no chorus...Eesh. I included the old lyrics below.

We watched Rick and Ilsa fall in love at our favorite place
And as days go by Sam just kept playing the same old song

It's just a movie
It's not like real life
Just pictures and some lights and a stage

We watched Charlie Kane lose himself with his sled
I'd build you a stage just to hear you sing again

It's just a movie
It's not like real life
Just pictures and some lights and a stage

So what are you watching
Now that we are apart
And I close my eyes
Because watching movies breaks my heart

Lyrics that were eventually removed from the song:

As days go by
We saw Salieri lose his mind and his soul
And his laugh just kept ringing in my head all day long

All day long

We watched Scarlett O'Hara fend off soldiers all day long
I'd give up Tara just to hold your hand again

Faith Hope & Peace

"Faith" is someone that I know intimately. In fact, she is many people. She, like many others, was raised in a good home, and took the first opportunity to run away from it, as far, and as fast as she could. That doesn't bother me.

The problem is that Faith is an addict. She will indulge in her self-destruction, claim she has it under control, and then she will crash. Inevitably, she will ask for forgiveness. Then, with time, she will return to her destructive lifestyle and will begin the cycle anew. The people who love and "support" her become stars caught in her gravity.

Faith went to church
She don't wear a flowered skirt anymore
She lost her good book
Ain't gave it a good look in a while

Some days she just forgets
How messed up people get
From reading the Bible and drinking communion wine

Some days she just lets
Angry people get
Into her body, soul, and her mind

Faith lives in palm trees
And entertains monkeys in the sun
She dresses in fig leaves
Brags about her bad deeds every night (to anyone)

Some days she just forgets
How empty people get
Believing the lies
Of everyday life

Faith Hope and Peace
But the greatest of these
Is someone else's love

Faith can't abide me
That don't surprise me anymore
When she tires of her bad deeds
She'll wish that she had thanked me (for a dress)

Though I tried my best
She don't own a flowered dress
But she don't lie to me
Anymore

The Driving Song

Two things come to mind when I think of this song.

Firstly, yeah, yeah, every musician has a driving song. Whilst I'm not a huge fan of driving for no reason, there have been a couple of times in recent years when I just had to move. Move me, move the car, the house, my career... something. Call it a metaphor, call it a psychosis. It is what it is. The upside of this transience is that it can be a great feeling, metaphor or no, when you look back at your trip and see how far you've traveled.

The second thing that comes to mind: I grew up in New Jersey, where there are only a handful of stars in the night sky. When I was little, I went to visit my relatives in the North Carolina mountains, and sitting on the porch with my Aunt Mary, I saw the sky just overflowing with stars. I saw shooting stars every couple of seconds. It had to be one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

Don't talk
Just drive
Gotta get away
Before they eat me alive

What can
I say
To ease your mind
Forget yesterday

Turn the radio on
Let's just get us gone

Where are we going I don't know
Fast as we can is just too slow
Stars in the sky will let us know
To turn the wheel
You can decide if it's left or right
Whatever you say let's just leave tonight
Stars in the sky will let us know
To turn the wheel

Let's go
For broke
The lives we leave
Are just a joke

The headlight
glow
Will lead the way
Nobody knows

If we get past the city lights
The stars will open up our eyes
We don't need to say goodbye
Turn the wheel

Irrelevant Truth

The theme song. I actually wrote this in about thirty seconds. It was originally the first song on the album, and meant to be just a brief intro kind of thing. After a while, a couple people heard it, and were intrigued. Eventually, I added an extra verse, and bam we had a power ballad.

Fun fact: The original title was "I hate you, and other Irrelevant Truths." However, the softer side of my personality pushed over the inner jerk, and here we are.

Don't let it be
more than it seems
Just let it be
Leave the rest to me

Why won't you let it escape your mind
I need perspective
I need time
doesn't matter now
we'll work it out somehow

Just let me fall in love with you again
The only thing I never knew
The only thing I know is true
It doesn't matter now
we'll work it out somehow
Just let me fall in love with you again

Soon

Somebody actually asked me what these lyrics mean... Oy.

Anyway, it's my favorite song, and it's been beaten up, torn apart, and reconstructed a dozen times a more. Here it is, the final cut, in all of its straightforward glory.

Leave work at eight and I'll be home at nine
I know it's late but I'll be just in time
No need to worry or call three times
Just leave a light on

Because it's hard now
It won't be long now
But it'll be over soon

I know you think that it's an endless race
Give me some time and we'll be running the place
And I can't wait to see that look on your face

I know you're worried I've lost my mind
But if we hurry we'll be just fine

Sooner than you think is that soon enough for you
Sooner than you think if we try we'll make it through

Fairy Tale

It's really quite simple - I hadn't written a song since college, a period of almost a year or two. I decided I was just going to sit down and do it - I was going to finally write that hardcore alt-rock song that I'd always envisioned.

Instead, this song came out... a song about living in reality and wanting a bit more fantasy. Needless to say, the transition from child to adult could be going better...

Met lots of folk
Think it's some kind of joke
They don't know much about me

What do they know
Spent their time growing old
Someday will come and they will see

Towers and brides
Dragons and mystery
Have I asked too much to hope for these

There's just one thing I might be missing
But I'll figure that out when I get back
I'm leaving my life for dragons and fairy tales
Who knows what happens till I get back

I'll waste my life
if it means that on one night
I'll find the fairy tale for me

But if it's you I could be kissin'
There's not much you could do to me
I'd fight a fire-breathing dragon
I'd swim poseidon's cursed sea

4:05

Many people view "salvation" as a progressive experience, one that evolves and develops over time. I, on the other hand, had a specific moment...an exact time when I gave my life to God. Every moment since then has been filled with questions and actions that do not demonstrate belief. I chose the moment I wrote this song to contemplate that.

I guess I forgot you
When things were just fine
And I guess I remembered
When things went awry

Do you regret me
A thorn in your side
Or do you see everything
In Your time?

Cause tonight my screams are whispers
And my lies are small and white
Tonight I feel like emptiness
is just a state of mine

Cause tonight I just don't need you
Like I used to
I'll be fine

Tonight I just don't need you
Like I did at 4:05

Say that you won't let me run away
But don't let me stay too long
And say that you'll hear me whenever I pray
And don't let me get this wrong

Lyrics that didn't make the final edit, but probably should have:

Tonight you know I need you
I'm a child
hear my cry
Tonight you know I need you
I need Jesus
I need life

Lonely Night

There was a period of time where my wife was out, my friends weren't around, and I was just home by myself, feeling really alone. While I usually value my alone time, this period had gotten to be too much for me, and it came out in this song.

So you called
and I hung up the phone
I blew it all
You've always known I would

Tonight I waited in the park for you (old lyrics: in the produce aisle)
and I can scarce remember
a time that I liked better

I'm alone, I'm alone
It's a lonely night
I'm alright
I just can't wait to see you one more time
Then I close my eyes and remember
When we had better times

If you should
decide to change your mind
or just your heart
I'll take what I can get

If the clouds
keep you from the light
just remember who's been praying
every single night

I'm alone, I'm alone
I waited for the phone to ring
no one ever calls
So I stand by the door
and wait for someone just to knock
just a little tap on the door

Sometimes
I feel like I don't know what I'm about
But you I've figured out

If Ever

If ever you feel like you're lonely
and everyone else has moved away
and somebody is on your case and
you never know what to say

I'm on your side
don't ask why
I love you
and I always will
I'm on your side

If ever you think that you're only
what somebody else chose to say
All that you love left you hanging
and you have forgotten your way

I've never left you
how could I forget you
always remember that I love you
when no one else even tries