Hard Summer

I retired from live performance on January 14, 2017, and Matt, Brian, Annette, and Bob have gone on to form "Lights of the North." From the Fall of 2016 to the early Spring of 2017, I worked on "Hard Summer," my first solo album since "Irrelevant Truth," which resurrected a few songs that had been shelved during the dark ages, and introduced a bunch of new tracks written in the period after the "Postcards Project."

Recorded 2017 at home
Logan Township, New Jersey
Produced by Adams Eberwein
Engineered by Adams Eberwein
Mastered by Paul Hammond at The Spot

Nobody

This day snuck up on me
I've run myself to rags
So tired that I can't sleep
Afraid that it won't pass

Nobody held me down
Nobody crushed my dreams
Nobody told me I wasn't worth nothing better
But me

I got no heart to break
No treasure left to lose
I made all my mistakes
I'd fight if I saw the use

Nobody held me down
Nobody crushed my dreams
Nobody told me I wasn't worth nothing better
But me

I'm out of ideas
I burned through my notes
I played into fear
I've hoped against hope

Nobody held me down
Nobody crushed my dreams
Nobody told me I wasn't worth nothing better
But me

Hard Summer

It's been a hard summer
trying to keep my cool
I just keep running
in circles like a fool

I don't want to leave you
on the hook this time
but I need this heat to break
I've been to purgatory
And it's called July
how much sweat can this summer take

It's been a hard summer
just waiting for the fall
someone else won and
I guess I lose it all

I'm running out of reasons
to hold this line
So it's me or this heat gonna break
the devil got it for me
and I don't know why
nothing left for him to take

And all these days go by
and I spend 'em praying to a cloudless sky
Yeah, all these days just drag on by
I spend 'em praying and I don't know why

It's been a hard summer
just waiting for the cold

Magic Box

Put a little box away
I put it in a real safe place I know
Put it in a hiding place
and wired it to explode

Put my little dreams away
Covered them in shame to mask the hope
If anyone asks of me
I'd lie and say I let it go

And if you find it
gonna blast it up
If you find it
oh oh blast it up

Letting this slip away
I put it in a box and close the lid
drop it about 6 feet down and
let's see how dark this is

If you find it
oh oh gonna blast it up
If you find it
oh oh blast it up

Watch yourself run
Say you've had enough
Now you're gonna run away and hide
Put down your guns
Tired of playing rough
It's time to run away and hide

If you find it
oh oh blast it up
If you find it
oh oh blast it up
If you find me

Off Limits

Off limits
Out of reach
Never face it
Don't want to see
I'm always here
I always believed
But you run away
Away from me

Falling in love
never been so easy
as when you
Are staring back at me
It's like I'm singing out loud
And you never hear me
So this might be
Harder than it seems
This might be much
Harder than it seems

Lost patience
With the wait and see
Can't win races
From the back seat
Patience only brought me
Misery
But I know this story ends
With you and me

Falling in love
always seemed so easy
when you
Are staring back at me
It's like I'm singing out loud
But you never hear me
So this might be
Harder than it seems
Yeah this might be much
Harder than it seems

Falling in love and losing
can seem the same
Falling in love and losing
can feel the same

I have this dream
That you're standing near me
Barely out of my reach
And I'm singing out loud
But you just don't hear me
And this is all we will ever be
And this is all, all we'll ever be

Just a Thought (ft. Katie Veronica)

We went wrong
but there's no foul and no harm
well I guess we grew up
and somehow we blew blew blew up

It's an older song
on the tip of our tongues
so the words got screwed up
and we just gave up
Up up up

And the shape you take
Is anything but you now
And the words we said
Are anything but true now
Go lie yourself to sleep
And go blame yourself on me

We’re better said
in terms of the past tense
that’s the way you wanna read
like the story ends
at seventeen

And the shape you take
Is anything but you now
And the words we said
Are anything but true now
Go lie yourself to sleep
And go blame yourself on me

Keep Ahead of It (ft. Dan Illi)

We lost it all
a violent affair
but god don't punish us
That's a job we do all ourselves

If we keep ahead of it
If we keep our heads in it
we can keep ahead of it
ahead of it

We fed on dreams
been awake for too long
It's time to drift off
can we sleep again

If we keep ahead of it
If we keep our heads in it
we can keep ahead of it
ahead of it

Every time you lose yourself
we swear we'll build another wall
If you want to lose yourself
you've only got to build your wall
Every time you lose yourself
you've only got to build your wall
your wall

If we keep ahead of it
If we keep our heads in it
we can keep ahead of it
ahead of it

Forgotten (ft. Katie Veronica)

I don't you want you to stay for reasons
You can't hope to explain
I don't you to live with treason
You can't erase
You keep trying to erase

I don't need you to keep this picture if
it doesn't fit in your frame
I don't want you to keep this picture if
it'll drive you insane

If you want to be forgotten
You will get your wish
But if you want to live forever
That's not how you do it

You've got a reason for each decision
You just can't say what it is
Cut me up in the hopes of finding
why I no longer exist

I don't want you to keep this picture if
it doesn't fit in your frame
I don't need you to keep this picture if
it's gonna drive you insane

If you want to be forgotten
You will get your wish
But if you want to live forever
That's not how you do it

I didn't want this
nobody wants to do it
quite this way
but you want to do it this way
nobody wants this
I didn't want to do this
quite this way
but you want to do it this way

If you want to be forgotten
You will get your wish
But if you want to live forever
You don't do it like this

Eggshells

This is the perfect spot
for a goodbye kiss
this is the spot where my
repressed anger lives
he wants to say hi
I've been alone for too long
it's time to be friends
I need to try and right some recent wrongs

If I can't talk to you
I'm gonna bring the wrecking crew

I'm not walking on eggshells
tiptoeing around trying to be kind
I'm just trying to be wise but
everyone is crying
I'm marking off my lines
marking off my lines

This is the perfect time
to redeem myself
this is the time when i just
climb out of hell
I love a goodbye
I've been warm for too long
i've gotta lose friends
holding me down just so they could hang on

so I gotta talk to you
all your worst fears are true

I'm not walking on eggshells
tiptoeing around
saying everything's fine
I'm just opening my eyes but
everyone is crying
'cus I drew my lines
cus I drew my lines

I can't talk myself
into trying
trying to take it easy
I just can't believe me
it can't be easy
like everyone else
like everyone else

Just Like the Rest

Finger to your lips
Never told nobody this
I got a problem
I finally caught my wish
I gotta hold on to it
Or it's gonna fly

'cus I chased you down
Heart was beating out of my chest
And you turned around
I didn't know what to do next
Don't want to be like the rest

My lips upon your lips
could you love someone like this
do I want the answer
The future's hit or miss
But I'm here to take the risk
And deal with the try

Yeah I chased you down
Heart was beating out of my chest
And you turned around
I didn't know what to do next
Don't want to be like the rest

In the final round
Don't lose it to yourself
It's the big showdown
Don't lose it to yourself
Or you'll be like the rest

Future's just a guess
I guess I should confess
It's my kinda problem

Save Me

Life's a sea
Of possibilities
Endless waves
Of atrocities
Shark attacks
that were sent for me
By a god
With a pointy gold stick

Man-of-war floating all around me
Coral reef cutting into my knee
Where's the ladder the boat left without me
Somebody save me

I still remember
What you said to me
Flap your arms
Try to kick your feet
If it gets hard
do your best
to breathe
Prolly best
You don't see what's around

Man-of-war floating all around me
Coral reef cutting into my knee
Where's the ladder the boat left without me
Somebody save me

Man-of-war floating all around me
Coral reef cutting into my knee
Where's the ladder the boat left without me
Damn

Rust

Spent too long riding this planet
I know it's time to jump
Down and it goes
Down I go

Believe me
I wouldn't leave if I had my way
Believe me
I wouldn't leave if I had some say

My body
is giving in to rust
falling back to the dust
'cus I'm old and tired

You asked me
a dozen times
how I got this bug in my head
if only I knew
But I can't think it through

Nothing's easy
especially leaving
but I just can't stay
Believe me
I wouldn't leave
but I got no say

My body
is giving in to rust
turning back to the dust
I'm just too damn tired

No more blame to share
no more interventions
it's my electric chair
it's one of my invention

My body
is giving in to rust
heading back to the dust
I'm just too damn tired